During my 55 years on this earth, I have had a vast array of experiences. I have traveled to several different countries, participated in several sports, and thanks to Megan, I have even run a marathon and climbed Mt. Fuji; however, one of those enlightening adventures that has eluded me all of my life is the thrill of washing clothes at the Laundromat.
BACKGROUND: Pam insists on doing the laundry because years ago in a moment of complete mental collapse, I decided to help wash the clothes and inadvertantly ended up fading a pair of Melanee's favorite black biker shorts. I think she was about six at the time. Since then, I have been told, under the threat of medieval torture, not to even think about washing/ruining the clothes again.
Since moving into this house, we have gone through, let's see... three washers and two dryers. This phenomenon did not happen by chance, it takes a substantial amount of bad judgement and trying to save money without adequate research to develop such an unbelievable record.
The first set was the one that came with the house. Washer #1 beat the clothes so badly, some of my beloved "free" T-shirts (old enough to be enshrined in a T-shirt museum) were reduced to nothing more than pitiful handfuls of thread. After a few months, Pam decided that she was not OK with me wearing pitiful handfuls of thread to the store and insisted that we get a new washer; so I took the "Clothes Eater" to D.I. and off to the RC Willey discount warehouse we went. Just to let you know, the philosophy of "cheap is good" has probably led to many a terrible experience. This, philosophy as we discovered, may be fine with utility bills or when filling up the car, but when it comes to washers, it is as flawed as Pres. Obama's idea of holding public meetings to explain health insurance reform. So, we ended up with washer #2 with guess what... same thread making result. Hmm... I was off again to D.I. dressed in my new handfuls of thread and "Son of Eater" in the back of the truck.
Knowing that we could not wait for long without washing our clothes, you know, the smell and all, Pam decided to reposess the old washer(#3) that she had given to Melanee and George. Melanee being her sweet little self was kind enough to tell me that we were a couple of ripoff artists (sorry Mel). Anyway, we snatched the washer and because of our dastardly deed, fate decided that it should poop out on us after a few months. I forget, but somewhere along the way, we gave dryer #1 away and bought dryer #2 which as it turned out, was worse than #1 (cheap is good theory).
After a long and protracted decision making process, we decided that buying a new washer was prefferable to beating our clothes on some rocks in the back yard. Having learned a lesson about the hazzards of shopping at the R.C. Willey discount warehouse, we drove to the R.C. Willey showroom instead. Great foresight and planning not being our strong suit, we got there about 40 minutes before closing. Snap decision time was at hand and after listening to Mr. Slick Salesman, we (meaning Pam) decided that we needed to buy right then. We ended up with a new Maytag washer
and dryer (can't have a mismatched set you know) even though the drywer was still in good shape. The new set had the latest technology and the washer could spin dry the clothes with amazing efficiency. A couple of days later, the set arrived and the delivery man saved me another trip to D.I. by taking dryer #2 and washer #3 with him. The new technology was pretty good, but it seemed kind of loud, but what the hey, new technology and beside that, the clothes came out clean! Finally, a couple of weeks ago, we (Pam again) decided to call a repairman to check it out. The washer gods in need of some levity decided that we had purchased a washer with a broken part. The repair guy said that a new part had to be ordered and until we got the washer repaired, we shouldn't use it.
Back to the new experience:Without a washer once again, we were faced with the decision between taking a bath in detergent fully clothed or finding another way to do the wash. Pam was brave enough to ask a friend if she could run a batch through her washer and she was kind enough to let Pam to use it. Pam just washed our unmentionables in order to minimize the inconvenience and intrusion to a person whose friendship she wishes to keep. Only one issue remained, how to wash the rest of the clothes. With the lag in timing since the prohibition from washer #4, I had already worn nearly every article of clothing that I owned and found myself studying the closet filled with the clothes left behind by Danny when he took off for his mission (baggy clothes are still in aren't they?).
The only reasonable alternative was the Laundromat. Having been the benefactor of the stay away policy has been pretty cool, but now I was being drawn into the twilight/laundry zone. Now, I have seen plenty of movies and TV shows with laundromats that protrayed dingy and creepy environments inhabitied with patrons looking like they came straight from a Boris Karloff movie, but I can say with certainty that this Laundromat was just like those in the movies. The saving grace, however, was that we must have hit a slow time and we had the use of three machines at the same time. It was a painful, yet quick experience and we made our escape with a couple of heavy baskets of wet clothing in no time. I am hoping that the new part for washer #4 will get here soon so that Pam can soon be laundering in the convenience of our own home.
By the way, does anyone know what to do with about $5 in quarters?
p.s. A week has come and gone and the time for fetching the new altered pants finally arrived. We went to pick up the pants and I sent Pam in to get the finished product. She came out and told me that the only person in the tailor store was a 70 year old man, no woman. I was relieved until we got home from doing the laundry, but it couldn't be so easy. The pants were still too long. I will have to go back again...
